Site Index | Blog What's New? Review List Stuff Review Outline Why Hate Anime? Wheat RoD: The TV Haibane Renmei Teen Titans Chaff Akira Legend of the Overfiend Black Heaven If you do some research on the subject of Ebichu the Housekeeping Hamster you might hear it referred to as the Japanese South Park. On the internet you don't have any real methods of retaliation at hand. But if you ever hear anyone say it in real life, you can punch them in the teeth. To call Ebichu the Japanese South Park isn't only an insult to South Park - it's an insult to Japan. "Mmm... I am in flavor country." The Ebichu experience starts with morbid curiosity, moves on to unbelievable pain, and in the end leaves you flaying off your skin with a potato peeler just because it hurts less. Although really, to call Ebichu an experience is much like calling jail time a vacation. It's more of a punishment, or an execution, or a conduit of pure evil tapped directly into the pits of Hell. All these things and more, packed into a handful of eight minute episodes. Because Ebichu preaches violence towards hamsters and shows the otherwise graceful and lovable species in a less-than-flattering light, I have given every section of the review a one hamham penalty. It's times like this I wish I had negative hamhams to use. Characters: The entire cast in Ebichu is worthy of nothing but contempt, hatred, and pity. They're so poor and unlikable that they're not even worth mocking, but since this is technically a review I guess I'll try. Vicious rodent beatings... what is your anti-drug? Ebichu, the title character, is heralded as a cute, adorable little hamster... although she's really more like a blob with feet and a mouth. The only physical features you can make out on Ebichu's pudgy form are her nose (since it's bleeding every twenty seconds) and her butthole. One wonders what crosses the mind of an animator who is told to draw a hamster's butthole. You know, besides contemplations of suicide. In any case, Ebichu is a perverted and stupid little rodent whose hobbies include squealing, playing Mahjong, absorbing domestic abuse, and interfering in her master's sex life. And yes, her master's sex life is in need of the intervention of a hamster. Desperately. She's trapped in a relationship with your typical womanizing jerk, whom she continues to return to again and again. She's a loathesome, vile woman who lives alone and keeps an entire library of exciting underwear and tantalizing sex toys on hand. There are some other characters too, like Mr. Jerk the boyfriend, and Guy Who Wants to Screw a Hamster, but they're all either lamentably stupid, inconceivably unlikable, and in most cases both. There are better casts in your average infomercial. Story: Ebichu is a collection of animated shorts, each episode about eight minutes in length. None of these episodes has a coherent story of any kind. Most of them are just a collection of baudy jokes, a brief sex scene, and then Ebichu getting annihilated. Ha, ha, Ebichu is twitching on the floor in a pool of blood! See? Comedy genius! Ha. Yes, hi. I'd like an order of breadsticks, and for you to jump into the oven you annoying little pud. To flesh the review out a bit (there's only so many different ways one can say "it sucks"), I'll give a summary of a few of these episodes. In one, Ebichu's owner gets a cold and her friend comes over to take care of her. Then she washes all her undies and her dildo! Shocking! In another, Ebichu inexplicably owns and operates a pizza parlor, but at night becomes the sexual psychic superhero (no kidding) Ebichuman. Ebichuman then flies off to help some unlucky naked girl get herself off on a rape fantasy. My hero! Stories not revolving around Ebichu's twisted fascination with sex are few and far between, but equally awful. Like when Ebichu signs for a package of cheese while her master is gone and then - get this - eats it all! Bad hamster! Or when Ebichu gets fleas and is locked out by Evil Mr. Boyfriend. I was excited for a moment because I thought Ebichu would catch pnumonia or fall off the balcony or something, but no such luck. There are not words strong enough to articulate how bad this show sucks. Animation: The entire series is drawn in a cutesy simplistic art style, which might be considered endearing in a kid's comic book. In an animated series, however, it's absolutely unacceptable. While the pastel colors and minimalistic style are an interesting take, the animation is jerky and hard to watch, as if the characters are all robots whose joints are in need of oil. Did you know hamster urine was used as shampoo in ancient Egypt? The mouths never match up to the dialogue... maybe in a vain attempt to pretend like they're not the ones talking. Either the words just come vomiting out of a stillshot, or come projectile vomiting out of an alternating mouth open/mouth closed jawbone that looks more monster than man... or mouse. If you're thinking that maybe, just maybe Ebichu's saving grace might be watching the cruel mutilation of a sexually deviant rodent, think again. You never see said beatings administered; rather, just a flash and then a shot of Ebichu covered in bumps and bruises and leaking more blood than is biologically possible. Even in distaste, Ebichu is a failure. Culture Shock: Almost all the "jokes" in Ebichu are crappy puns that don't even make sense in English. If it weren't for the ten-minute lesson I was given about the Japanese language at the beginning of each episode, all the dialogue would have seemed disjointed and confusing. Armed with that knowledge, however, it was merely corny and unentertaining. "Oh honey! Doesn't the sound of a squealing hamster always turn you on?" The fansub I sampled also felt the need to explain to me the rules in Mahjong and Pachinko in excrutiating detail even though neither game is in the series for more than a minute, and none of the "plot" hinges on your knowledge of them. You're also told an awful lot about product placement in anime, taught insignifigant details about nuances of Japanese speech, and have lots of the series' "jokes" explained to you long before they're actually delivered. You know, rather than simply having the series properly translated. If this series has taught me one thing about Japan, it's that if you're a hamster and you're not part of Hamtaro's clubhouse, you are screwed. Sorry about your luck. What else do you want me to say? Ebichu the Housekeeping Hamster is the bottom of the proverbial barrel. And that's the anime barrel, the contents of which aren't too impressive to begin with. You don't want to watch Ebichu. I don't care how much you think you like anime. I don't care if you're the type of person who is so jaded that you love every anime in the world just because it's anime. This one, you'll hate. Link Official Site And if you don't, you scare me. Please leave my page and never, ever come back. Overall Rating:

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