Site Index | Blog What's New? Review List Stuff Review Outline Why Hate Anime? Wheat RoD: The TV Haibane Renmei Teen Titans Chaff Akira Legend of the Overfiend Black Heaven Sometimes an anime comes along, the premise of which being so utterly ridiculous that you don't even believe the premise when it is first explained to you. Here, I'll show you what I mean: Midori no Hibi is the story about a violent high school kid who wakes up one morning to find that his right-hand has been replaced by a shrunken girl who has a crush on him. See? You don't believe me. You're thinking, "No, that's retarded. Not even an anime studio would agree to produce a series based on an absolutely insane idea like that." And, well, you'd have a point. But alas, here we are. Characters: Brother, you have no idea. The violent high school kid's name is Seiji. He has spiky blonde hair and a bad attitude, and in spite of being freakishly brutal he's actually a pretty nice guy. Seiji has the magnificent gift of being able to knock anyone out with the smallest amount of effort, and uses this ability to defend the weak and help the unfortunate. Despite his manly physique, Seiji is incredibly unlucky at love. Seventeen years without a girlfriend, as he himself puts it. Of course, this might have something to do with his approach; the manner in which Seiji asks "Will you please go out with me?" is exactly the same as how most people would say "Holy God your hair is on fire!". When a guy comes on that strong, most girls probably think he wants to act out some violent parking lot rape fantasy. Midori is this sweet, charming, green-haired teenage girl who has a crush on Seiji. Since no other girl in Seiji's zip code will have anything to do with him, this might be seen as a good thing - until, of course, Midori wakes up one morning and she's attached to Seiji at the wrist. Well, waist. Wait - her waist, his wrist. Yeah, that's how it works. I had the good sense to only watch two episodes of Midori no Hibi so I don't know any of the other characters. I assume they suck very, very badly. Story: Imagine two guys who really hate anime - and I mean really despise the stuff. Imagine they're mocking the entirety of anime as a genre by hilariously exaggerating possible anime storylines. "Seiji-kun has gingivitis! Seiji-kun should floss regularly!" One of them says, "Yeah like, and you'd have this ugly kid with spikey blonde hair, right? And he'd be all like a street fighter! And he'd beat people up with this sooopah light-hando poonch!! Ha ha, yeah." And the other replies, "Ha ha, then like this chick - and she'd have green hair 'cause all those stupid anime chicks have green hair - she all like, has the hots for that idiot, but instead of doin' him like in a tentacle rape thing--" (Here, the first interjects some bad porno sound effects, causing more laughter and perhaps a high five.) "Right, so like, she turns out to be his... uh... hand!" "Hahaha... dude, that's so totally anime! Who wants to watch crap like that?" "Dude, like, totally. Hey, we should go see that new Pauly Shore movie." "Word." I would like to meet these two fellows, and tell them about Midori no Hibi. I think they'd probably get a kick out of it. Buuu-uuuddy. Animation: Well enough I suppose. The overhyper high school dork looks just like a high school dork, and the incredibly surreal pixie-like girl on his right arm looks remarkably like a girl attached to his right arm. "Sorry ladies. Kill Bill auditions are down the hall." The quality of the artwork is par for the course as far as mediocre-grade anime goes... nothing outstanding but nothing really horrid either. The animation gets choppy at times, but it's a stylistic choppiness (that is, a manga-style throwback) rather than low framerate. Again, nothing fantastic; nothing awful. Honestly though, when you're watching a cartoon about a minature Japanese girl who is stuck onto some dude's hand, you're beyond the point where you care what it looks like. I wish I could emphasize that enough. Culture Shock: Standard "it takes place in Japan so you're bound to see some Japanese weirdness" score. Fat hoppin' pancakes, boy! What's the matter with your eyes? To Midori's credit, I think a story about a Californian teenage heartthrob with a shrunken valley girl glued to his hand would be exactly similar to this. I'm hard-pressed to think of anything you could really do differently - this is the kind of thing that is so odd and surreal that it transcends culture. (I wrote that sentence then immediately thought of Zack and Kelly from Saved By the Bell in this situation. And that made me giggle.) Though speaking of culture, I wonder how this story would play out in some Muslim nations. For example, if you touch a woman who isn't your wife, aren't they allowed to cut off your right hand? If that's the case, what if the woman-who-is-not-your-wife is your right hand? Wouldn't the standard hand-severing punishment kill her? Would a Muslim guy even care? This is the kind of stuff that'll keep you awake at night. Overall Rating: I know this review was one part actual criticism to five parts me being a goofball. In my defense, I can only say that Midori no Hibi has the absolutely most ridiculous premise I've ever come across. I've seen an anime that is best described as "pornographic Harry Potter". Links Useless Fanlisting Official Site (Japanish) I've seen an anime about a geriatric coma patient who gets wired into a gargantuan metal death robot that goes on to eat a city. I've seen anime where tentacles do such alarming things to various poor young women that you just say, "Wow, that's completely and utterly inappropriate and I think I shall write my Congressman." This isn't to say I've seen it all, of course, but the fact that my own cross-section didn't prepare me for Midori no Hibi just invites a whole new kind of potential weirdness into my life. I would like to re-iterate that Midori no Hibi is about a kid who has a girl for a hand. In closing, I would like to leave you all the jokes I could have written, but didn't. This is a family-friendly website, after all.

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