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Read or Die
came to me on the recommendation of a friend who seems to know my tastes pretty
well, with the disclaimer that it might not be my thing. I gave it a chance
anyway and was pleasantly surprised.
Read or Die
is a three episode OVA (cut out the credits sequences and it actually watches
more like an episodic movie) about secret agents with super powers. Kind of
like X-Men, but without sentinals. There are lots of fun, fast-paced action
sequences and over-the-top fight scenes broken up with stretches of inoffensive
dialogue and the president peeing himself. So it's all good.
Characters:
For all intents and purposes there are only two characters in
Read or Die;
everyone else is just background scenery. The principal character is Yomiko
Readman, the poster child for bookworms. Literature takes priority over
everything else in Yomiko's life; her dreary apartment is wallpapered with
post-it notes reminding her to do everything but keep up on her reading.
"I'm not even supposed to BE here today!"
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When she isn't pushing her glasses back up her nose or buried brain-deep in a
book, Yomiko carries out missions as an agent
of the British Library Force under the codename The Paper. Yomiko has the
inexplicable ability to manipulate paper in fantastic ways. Among other
things, Yomiko's wild abilities allow her to fashion a lockpick from a hair
ribbon, glide around the New York skyline on a huge paper airplane, and anchor
a villain's aircraft with a chain of paper cutouts.
Yomiko shares her spotlight with Nancy Makuhari, the trademark no-nonsense
superspy. Unlike Yomiko, Nancy is a skilled martial artist and a crack shot...
exactly the kind of take-charge attitude needed to keep Yomiko's mind on task
and out of the magazine rack (as opposed to
Nancy's
rack, which is what any
male viewer will certainly have
his
mind on). Nancy's codename within the Library Force is Ms. Deep, and almost
before you
can deduce any innuendo from it she explains why. Nancy posesses the ability
to phase through solid objects as if they weren't there, be they walls,
bullets, villains, or pesky restrictive overcoats.
Write your own caption;
I'm busy ogling.
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The rest of the Library Force relevant to
Read or Die
is Drake Anderson the grizzled old stereotype, Joker the calm and collected
master of operations, Joker's sugary sweet secretary Wendy, and
the doting grandfatherly headmaster Mr. Gentleman. These characters come and
go as needed; their job is to fulfill their roles as quickly and quietly as
possible without interfering with Yomiko and Nancy's onscreen action.
Story:
Our story opens with an attack on the White House, the desctruction of which is
rivaled in completion only by Independance Day. It doesn't take the
vaporization skills of a highly coordinated alien mothership, however, but
rather the prowess of Gen-nai Hiraga, a Japanese inventor reincarnated in the
body of a supervillain samurai. Of course, he was looking for the Library of
Congress and not the White House... boy is his face red! In any case, the
president (after changing his soiled boxers) decides to do what any good leader
of the free world would do in his situation - enlist the help of Japanese
superwomen.
Origami airlines.
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We're then introduced to our first heroine Yomiko as she wakes up amidst a
mountain of discarded books. Yomiko hurredly has breakfast and goes out on the
town, squandering her cash at various bookstores and libraries. She happens
upon one old and curious tome, which she barely wrenches away from a
purple-haired book enthusiast, and promptly has it stolen by an insectoid
supervillain in the street.
Yomiko uses her mysterious paper powers to retrieve her book from the bad guy
only to be called into work by Joker. Apparently, a group of reincarnated
clones of evil-ized historical figures called the Ijin are out to collect a
series of old books for some kind of supervillain superplot. Yomiko is quickly
paired up with her new teammate Ms. Deep (who turns out to the girl from the
bookstore earlier,
OMG plot twist!
) and the two set out for New York to hunt down their next book.
"Gee, I hope there aren't any waterfalls nearby."
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Over the course of the next two-and-a-half episodes, Yomiko and Nancy encounter
more Ijin whose magic powers are indirectly related to what their
historical counterparts are famous for. The penultimate villain turns out to
be *
Beethoven, whose half-baked plot is to broadcast an unwritten suicide symphony
across the whole planet that will coax every man, woman, and child to take
their own lives.
*
Okay, so
Read or Die's
plot isn't going to win any gold stars, red balloons, or purple horseshoes.
But it does get three hamhams for being an excuse to watch Yomiko and Nancy
trounce lots of bad guys.
Animation:
One of
Read or Die's
strongest points is the quality of its animation, which is to say, exquisite.
The settings are rich and diverse, the characters full of vim and vigor. And
better yet, there's none of that lazy "panning still shot" animation I find so
obnoxious.
Read or Die
sells itself on its action sequences, after all, and I never got tired of
watching Yomiko whip up a storm of scraps and coupons to aid her in a fight.
Paper Sword: ATK + 80. Can be used with Runic, Throw, SwdTech, 2Hand.
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It's also nice that all the characters are fun to watch. Nancy's got your
basic bouncy trash-talkin' anime babe thing covered, Yomiko's moves are
saturated in a feeling of apologetic nervousness, and the villains are bright
and active enough to put Batman's opposition to shame. Not only that, but
there isn't an overblown sweatdrop in sight... and that always makes me happy.
Culture Shock:
Read or Die
gets a low culture shock rating because, even though it's enjoyable and fun
and all that rot, it has 200% of your recommended daily intake of Japanish.
Japanese symbols abound, even in settings outside of Japan. In addition to
that, I knocked off a full hamham for each time the US president urinated
himself. Since our
real
president is such a quibbling idiot, I like to take comfort in fictional
ones... that's hard to do when he's filling his panties with pee and *
flailing about wildly trying to launch nuclear weapons without clearance from
Congress.
*
Maybe it's because I've only seen the fansub (which in itself was of incredible
quality), but I came away from
Read or Die
with the impression that I'd have gotten more out of it had I known more about
our mysterious Pacific allies. Maybe (hopefully) I'll kick the rating up a few
more hamhams after seeing the dub.
I can think of a handful of people who would be surprised I liked
Read or Die.
But that's the way it came out. There's nothing inherently deep about the
plot and the characters are mostly just screen-space with dialogue, but above
all else
Read or Die
is just good clean
fun.
On top of that, I challenge you to find any other hero/ine who apologizes
copiously every time s/he inflicts horrid papercuts upon his/her victims.
Overall Rating:
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